So today we are going to be doing something I enjoy doing: reading another INFJ’s blog post and comparing it to myself. The article I’m going to be going over is titled “Peculiar Traits of the INFJ Personality.” The post, supposedly, discusses eight weird traits INFJs have. I’m going to go over each of these individually and compare each one to myself. So let’s get started, shall we?
Trait #1: All-or-nothing syndrome
The idea behind this ‘peculiar’ trait is as INFJs we are either all in or not at all. We give everything our best shot, or we don’t put any effort into it at all. We don’t do things halfway. I’ll be honest this is true for the most part. There are times where I start something with all I’ve got, then halfway through I lose all my desire to finish it. Usually, this is because I realize I can’t do whatever I’m doing to my definition of perfection. Since I can’t reach the level of perfection that I desire for myself, I tend to give up on the task. Or if I have to finish it, I don’t try as hard because I know I won’t be able to get it perfect. However, for the most part, I would agree with the statement. I am, for the most part ‘all or nothing.’ I usually give everything I have, or I don’t give it my best at all. I love the examples given, as well. When I fall in love with someone, I give them all I have. When I exercise, I go all out. I’ll push my body to its max. I do disagree with the eating though…I tend to eat whatever I want. My work ethic is the same way. I will work, work, and work until my body drops. Then I’ll get up and keep going at it again with all I got. Other times I know I have a long list of things I want to do, but I don’t have the desire to do them, so I do something relaxing instead. There is one thing that they didn’t say in the article that I feel like applies to me specifically. If I have a hobby, I will usually grind it out. I will be solely focused on that one thing. For example, I went through a phase where I played video games. I was seriously into Halo 5. Man, I was killing it. I was spending like over 60+ hours a week on video games. I was all out. For me, when I played a video game, I focused on that one game. I didn’t change games until I’d got to a point where I felt like I’d got to a competitive level, or I saw I couldn’t reach the level of perfection I desired. In that case, I stopped playing the video game, which is a perfect example of either all-in-or-nothing syndrome. Either I played the game none stop, or I didn’t play it at all.
Trait #2: The inability to settle
I’ll be honest when I think of the inability to settle I tend to think of it in the romantic sense. We’d be here all day if I tried to talk on that subject though. But here they seem to be trying to look at it in the aspect of life in its entirety. I’ll be honest this one is pretty easy for me to agree with. From what I gathered the article is trying to say INFJs tend to be searching for things that make them feel like they are contributing to whatever it is they are attempting. Nine times out of ten, I am trying to do things that make me feel like I’m doing something. I hate doing things that I feel like I haven’t made any difference. For example, I love the job I have now because I feel like I’m making a difference. I can see some of the ideas and efforts that I’ve made, and the outcome of them. It’s a fantastic feeling. Helping people is another one. Being able to go and help someone out gives me a happy feeling because I know I made a difference to them. So I would agree that I’m always looking for things that make me feel like I’m making a difference. I don’t like to settle for something that makes me feel like what I do doesn’t make any impact.
I also loved how they used the inability to settle in the spiritual sense. I don’t compromise, period, on my spiritual beliefs. God is number one in my life period. I won’t compromise that for anyone or anything. I won’t settle for anything if it attempts to compromise that aspect.
Trait #3: Perfectionism
I’ll be honest I don’t even have to read what they say. I already agree with it. I’m a perfectionist through and through. I practically said the same thing earlier in this post. I tend to set high standards and expectations for myself or for what I’m doing. When I realize I can’t reach these standards, I tend to give up. I lose all the passion and determination I had to see the job through, and I move on. This perfectionism doesn’t just exist in tasks or relationships I have. They also exist in my view of myself, which honestly is probably why I hard on myself. I set high standards for myself, and most of the time, I don’t reach them. Then when I don’t make them, I usually end up beating myself up about it. I have a couple of examples of this. One time I went out to eat with a group of my friends. We all sat down and were talking. Well, I’d zoned out because someone was telling a story I wasn’t able to follow, and my train of thought went somewhere else. Well, I thought of a funny story I wanted to share, but I forgot someone was already in the middle of a story. I started telling my story while the other person was still telling her story! I didn’t even realize what I’d done till a minute later. I was so embarrassed! I try my hardest to be polite and not be rude. So the fact that I interrupted someone made me feel horrible, and also really mad at myself. I ended up beating myself about it for weeks afterward. Another example is whenever someone points out something I messed up or didn’t do something right. I start beating myself up about it. Usually, it will last the whole day if not longer. I think ‘why couldn’t I have done that better. Why couldn’t I have done it the right way? Can I do anything right? Why am I failure?.’ Those are just some of the things I think whenever I don’t meet my expectations for myself. Idk if this is true for all INFJs, but we are our own worst critics.
Trait #4: Solitude vs. friendship
I’ll be honest; I love this one so much. I have more than one close friend, but I can count them all on one hand. I agree with the author as well. I do crave close, deep, intimate relationships with people. I’m not talking about in the romantic sense here (although I want that even more). I mean in the aspect of friendships. I want friendships that last forever and are people I can always count on and where they can count on me. I want friendships where we help each other grow, inspire, and encourage each other when we need it. To achieve these kinds of friendships, I have to revert to trait #1. I give all my close friendships all I have. If you have reached that level of friendship with me, congratulations, you are one in five right now, and you’d have to be trying hard to lose my friendship. This trait isn’t just about friendships. I also agree with the author. Maintaining those five friendships is very steineous. It takes a lot of energy and time. In the end, I get socially exhausted and have to retreat into solitude to recharge. If I don’t get to retreat to my solitude, I will start to act…funny. But that’s another story. Since I give those five friendships all I have, I don’t have much energy for anyone else. So anyone else outside of those five, tend to get the short end of the stick. It’s also part of the reason why I don’t have as many close friends. I can only give so much of myself before I become drained. The more friends I have, the more it takes from me. Also, the more time I spend with them, the more energy it takes from me. The more friends I have also affects it because I want to give my close friends my very best. It’s why I try to respond so quickly to my text messages. I want to show that I care about them and their time. But with me having more friends means I have to sacrifice time from them to accommodate for this other person I let into my small group of close friends. This, in turn, makes me feel bad because then my friends wonder why I’m not giving them the time I usually do. Then I start getting drained quicker because I try to accommodate everyone and end up exhausted. So I try to retreat to recharge, but I don’t have enough time to because I’m trying to maintain all these valuable friendships to me. Eventually, it gets to the point where I have to start sacrificing something to accommodate. I know I got a bit off-topic slightly, but that’s where my train of thought started heading.
Well, we made it halfway through the article. I hope ya’ll enjoyed it! I’m going to go ahead and do the next half later on this week. So stay tuned for that! Also, comment below if you had any you can relate to anything I discussed. Thanks for reading! Till next time! Peace, and God Bless