If you missed the first post about Friendships you can go ahead and check it out here!
Good morning everyone! I hope you are all having a beautiful morning. I know I am! After I finished my post about Friendship, I realized I was only talking about choosing friends. But friendships are like a two-way street, and it works both ways. Not only do we have to be careful about what kind of friends we choose, but we also have to be cautious about what kind of friends we are. And that is what I’ll be discussing today.
This is something I honestly pay more attention to than choosing friends. I try my very hardest to be the best friend I possibly can. I know I’m not the best and that I mess up, but I still try my very best to be the best friend I can be. Because I know what it’s like to have terrible friends and I don’t want to be that kind of friend to someone else. Sadly it’s something I’ve been struggling with even more recently.
I believe we should not only to try to find friends with certain qualities but also strive to have those same qualities. For example, I want friends who are kind, open, honest, trustworthy, funny, fun, happy, positive, uplifting, etc. As such, I strive my hardest to have those same qualities in all my friendships. I will be honest. I put more effort into making sure I have these qualities towards my close friends, but I still strive my hardest to make sure I have them towards all my friends. I try to be funny and fun to hang out with. I try my hardest to be in a good, happy, positive, and bubbly mood. Or at the very least appear that I am. But the things I strive the most for is honest, kindness, and trustworthiness. Openness is something I strive for, but it honestly depends on the relationship I have with each individual. I’ve had some people who I’ve been friends with for years who know me better than most, and people who I’ve been friends with the same amount of time and they don’t know me nearly as well as my other friends do. Then I have a friend who surpassed them all in a year, so it varies. Some people I am more easily open with than others. Others I can never be as open with as some people. And some people I can be very open with, but it just takes time.
Honesty is extremely important to me. I’ll be honest. I’m horrible at lying, which isn’t a bad thing. It makes me mad when I find out someone has lied to me, and the reason for that is because I try my very hardest to not to lie to anyone. Especially my close friends. I may avoid the truth or word things in a way that will make you think of something else, but I hate lying. If I do tell a lie, (It happens. I’m not perfect), I will hate myself more than you can imagine. I will beat myself up (internally) because of it. So this is one quality I strive hardest for more than most of the others.
Trustworthiness is another huge one for me. I want to be the guy that everyone says, “Hey, you can count on him. He’s never let me down.” I want people to be able to say that about me. I want people to be able to take me at my word, and when I say I’m going to do something that they expect me to do it because they have full confidence in my word. I want people to trust me, especially my close friends. When it comes to friendships, I want this even more. One of the most important qualities to me is trustworthiness. I want it so that when one of my friends need me they know if they ask me I’ll be there, and that they can count on me always. I want my friends never to be afraid of losing me or our friendship because I’m trustworthy enough not to leave them over something stupid. I do this because I also want this in my friendships. I want friends who I can count on, so when I need them I know, I can count on them. But I don’t want it to be one-sided. I want to be the same for them.
Kindness. This is honestly the most important one to me out of all of them. I can’t stand it when someone is mean to someone to mean to them. Like that Like it doesn’t make any sense to me at all. There is a difference between joking and making everyone laugh and just being mean. To me, I don’t understand why someone would do it. It doesn’t take much to be kind to people, even if you don’t like them. I mean even if you can’t be kind to them, at least do nothing. That way you aren’t mean! I mean like come on. Words have meaning and power. So instead of saying a word that will crush someone’s day, why not say a word that will make it the best day ever for them? Like kindness is one of the most important things to me. One of the quickest ways to get me to like you is if I see you go out of your way to do something nice for someone. Like that right, there is awesome. It not only shows that you care about people and respect them, but that you also want them to be happy. That right, there is someone I’d want to be friends with. Someone who goes out of their way to be kind to others definitely would be kind to me if we were friends. At least that’s the way I see it. Plus it goes back to the reputation thing. Do you want to be friends with someone who is known for being mean or for being nice? Then an even better question. What are you known for? That is something I’m constantly asking myself. What am I known for? What do people see in me? The moment I see that I am not as kind as I used to be or people stop commenting that I’m kind I ask myself, “What changed?” I am continually challenging and checking myself to be kind to others because I don’t want someone to look at me in disgust because I was rude or mean to someone else. Not only is it damaging to the person I was mean to, but it also prevents me from having a chance of a good relationship with anybody who saw me be mean. Because now they are viewing me as a mean person, and like I said earlier, who wants to be friends with a mean person?
I try to be a fun person to hang out with. I’ll be honest I’m not the most interesting guy on the planet (or at least I don’t think so), but I try my hardest not to be the worst. I work hard to make people laugh, or talk to them about things they enjoy even though I may have no interest in it. I’ll spend time playing a game with them, or listen to what they have to say even though I want to do something else. I’m not saying all this to make myself look good; I’m saying it to show I’m trying to be someone cool to hang out with. I want people to come up and talk to me, or see me across a store and wave at me because they recognize me and enjoy hanging out with me. I know I’m not the most fun person to hang out with. I can give you plenty of examples of when I was selfish and did my own thing instead of trying to hang out with everyone. Now you all may be thinking it’s ok to do your own thing now and then, and I agree. But as an introvert, it is my natural tendency to do my own thing. I like to retreat into myself and hide. If I didn’t make this extra effort to be a ‘fun’ guy, I would sit in the corner of the room the whole time watching everyone else. And I’d be totally happy with that. But I realize that that is my natural tendency, so I strive not to do that. I make an extra effort to go and talk to people, which is extremely hard for me to do. (For my friends reading this, it’s way easier for me if ya’ll start the conversation…) I know it’s not cool to try and be friends with the person who is like a mouse, so I try hard not to be. But it’s still something I struggle with daily. The funny part about it though is if you’re my close friend you won’t easily recognize that I’m like this. When I’m around close friends, the game changes completely. It’s a lot easier (in most cases) for me to walk up and talk to someone if I’m already close friends with them.
So this next one is pretty easy. Funny people are hilarious to hang out with. I love to hang out with someone who loves to laugh and/or is funny. I love making people laugh even more, so I try hard to be funny. It’s fantastic though because I’m already (somewhat) amusing, so I don’t have to put too much effort into it. Unless I’m like depressed or in a bad mood, then I can’t be funny to save my life. Luckily that doesn’t happen too often. I mean this one is pretty obvious. Who would you rather hang out with? Someone who makes you laugh or someone who doesn’t?
I also try hard to be positive and uplifting. I want to be that guy that everyone looks at and is surprised if I’m not in a good mood. I try hard always to be happy, positive, and in a good mood. I want my happy mood to bleed over into other people and affect them the same way, which is what I want in my friendships. I want us both to be, so we can keep making each other happier. Or when one of us is sad, we can make the other happy. It is the best thing ever when your friends can pull you out of your sad state and make you happy again. Especially for me since it’s hard for me to get out of a depressed mood once I’m in one. I also really want to be uplifting. It makes me so happy when someone comes to me with their problems, and I’m able to make them feel better. Whether it was because I was an outlet for them to vent to or I was able to share an encouraging word, it makes me happy knowing I was able to make a difference. This is the way I am with all my friends. I want them to know that I’m here for any of them. I want them to know that if they need to talk I’m here always and willing to listen. I also want friends who are the same for me. I get depressed often I don’t show it, and it makes me feel guilty for unloading that onto someone else. But I still need friends who are able and willing to be there for me when I need to vent or need encouragement. But I don’t want it to be one-sided. I want them to be able to and want to come to me as well. I want it to be so that we are continually encouraging each other during our rough times.
Those were some of the qualities that I strive to achieve in myself for my friends. I don’t want to find the perfect friends. I also want to be the perfect friend. I know both are impossible, but I still want to get as close as I can get. I want to do everything I can to be the best friend.
I hope ya’ll enjoyed today’s post! It is excellent food for thought, or at least it is for me. I am always trying my best to find ways to make myself better. I know I have lots to improve on. Well, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day! If you liked something, I said leave a like! If you have any thoughts, you’d like to share, leave a comment below! I’d love to hear them! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! Till next time, peace! And God Bless!!
~~~ INFJ Mickey