Not only are INFJs rare, but for guys, it’s even more so. Only 33% of INFJs are males. Why is this the case? I believe it is mainly because of the Feeling trait that us INFJs have. Men usually are more thinkers; they rely on and use their heads more than their hearts. Women are the opposite. They tend to use their hearts more than their heads. I’m not saying that both genders don’t use the opposite trait that is typical for them. What I am saying is that typically men use their head more so than their heart, and women are the opposite. That doesn’t mean that women don’t use their heads or men don’t use their hearts because they both use the reverse. But typically each gender leans to one side or the other. Now, this is not to say that the Feeling Trait is feminine or that the Thinking trait is masculine. All it is saying is that it’s more common to see women with the feeling trait than it is for men to have it, which is what I’m saying here. The reason why you won’t find as many INFJ males as INFJ women are because women are usually more of the feeling type. For example, if you look at the statistics of INTJ Males as compared to Females, the statistics flip. You see 67% of INTJs are male, and the other 33% female. The only thing that changed is the T (Thinking) and F (Feeling) Traits. Although it is uncommon for males to lean more towards the Feeling side, it still happens. The same goes for the Thinking trait and females. Being a thinker or a feeler doesn’t make you female or male, it’s just how you process things. Both males and females can be either thinkers or feelers.
Now having the Feeling trait as an INFJ male does present a slight issue. At least for me. Socially people tend to think of men as not showing much emotion, feelings, or sensitivity. To do so makes the guy appear weak and not masculine, which is not the case at all. However, this is what society says, and in general, it is most common for most guys. They are exactly that. Guys are logical, thinkers, and reasonable. Women, on the other hand, are more heart-oriented using their emotions, feelings, and compassion. Since this is what is usually the case, anything outside of this norm is frowned upon by society. There are exceptions to this, but generally, that is the case. And it’s not even that it’s frowned upon it is also the fact that it’s harder to connect with people who don’t think or feel the same way as you. Since I lean more heavily on the feeling side of the spectrum, I find it way easier to be friends with girls and connect with them easier. Out of my five closest friends, 3 of them are girls. For me, it’s harder to connect with guys on an emotional level, because well they aren’t as sensitive. Which all the girls I’ve been friends with thinking it’s cool that I’m open with my emotions. I don’t think it’s the fact that I’m open with them, but more with the fact that I am more emotional. With guys, it’s harder for me to be friends with and open up to them because of my emotions. I find it hard to share my thoughts and feelings with them because I know it could portray me as weak in their eyes, or at the very least weird that I’m so emotional. I don’t believe being emotional makes me weak at all. I view it as a strength. I’m able to use my enhanced feeling ability to relate to people more easily. Combined with my other INFJ traits, it makes for an awesome combo!
I want to encourage anyone else who is reading this not to be discouraged. Because being a feeler can be hard to find people to connect with on the same level as you. Especially depending on the personality. Myself, for example, being an Introvert takes me ages before I’ll open to someone, and even longer because I’m cautious about showing people my feeling side. But don’t be discouraged there are other people just like you who deal with the same thing every day. Just don’t give up trying to open up. If you haven’t already, you will eventually find someone you can connect with on the same level of feeling as you.
Now I didn’t get to dive deep into the Feeling trait as I wanted to, but that’s for another day. There’s a lot more that goes into the Feeling trait than just being emotional. I also feel like the word emotional is sometimes misinterpreted. Hopefully, later next week, I’ll be able to dive deeper into both topics.
I hope you all enjoyed hearing why I think INFJ males are not as common as females, and I hope that it made sense! If you liked what you read, leave a like! Or if you have a question, feel free to leave a comment! I try to respond to all of them! Thank you all for your time! I hope you enjoy your weekend! Thanks again. Peace! And God Bless!!
~~~ INFJ Mickey