Good morning everyone! So we are back to another Life Update. As I’m sure several of you know I did post one earlier this week because I was getting behind schedule and I wanted to explain what was going on. So today I’m going to share more about what’s going on with me. I hope you enjoy it!
So my very first update I shared I shared that I’m dealing with heartbreak right now. The second how I’m feeling overwhelmed. So far I can explain what’s also going on. I’m staying busy, and it’s why I’m feeling overwhelmed. You see I’ve read from various sources that when INFJs go through extreme stress one of the tendency’s for them is to start becoming obsessed with extroverted activities such as: over or under eating, too much physical exercise, constant activities, sensory activities, etc. I noticed I’ve done several of these. I’ve had a loss of sleep and appetite. Lately, when I’ve been playing sports, I push myself way harder than I usually do. I force myself to overexert myself physically. I’ve been unconsciously trying to work more do more physical labor. I’m continually doing various activities, which usually are sensory activities. I keep my self busy, so I distract myself from the pain, which is probably another reason why I’ve been doing sensory activities as well. Like when this heartbreak just happened, I started going out to the movies and going out to eat a lot. It’s because I wanted to do things that caused me to feel something that would distract my feeling. I was trying to escape, and I was trying to find a quick fix. All the sensory activities I do are just that — quick fixes to distract me from the real problem. And I always end up back on the real problem.
So I realize I have all these issues right now, and I’m trying to fix them, but it’s just taking time. I’ve been eating more, so that’s close to being settled. My sleep is still being plagued with nightmares, so I’m still trying to figure that one out. I’m working harder, so that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It makes my boss happy, lol. I’m exhausted, but what else is new? I’ve cut back on trying to do excessive sensory activities, but I’m still doing constant activities. I’m busy, and I stay that way. I’m a part-time college student with a full-time job. I also am working on a website for my church, I’m on the youth leadership team, I go to all the church events I can attend, I help run the sound booth every other week, and I help the youth pastor with various church projects. I’m also going to be the best man at a wedding here in a month, go to Skills USA Nationals, and continually keep up with this blog. I’m trying to do this all while trying to juggle my social life with friends and family. Not only that come Fall semester I’m going to be doing even more. I’m going to be taking more classes than an average full-time student, and hopefully, I will start tutoring.
As you can see I’m swamped. Why do I stay so busy? I have many reasons. Before I was working because I’m trying to set myself up for success in life, plus I want to make sure I can be able to provide the very best I possibly can for a family one day. Hopefully, debt free. But after this heartbreak, I noticed I started putting more effort into everything. The reason for this is because I’m trying to distract myself. I’m trying to keep my mind busy because if I let it roam free, it will go straight into depression. So for me to stay somewhat happy, I have to distract my mind from overthinking; otherwise, I over think things.
I know it’s probably not the most healthy thing to keep myself so busy like this, but I need it. I have to stay active until I can be happy again. Because my philosophy is and has been this, I can slow down once I have a family of my own one day. Till then I’m gonna work like crazy, that way by the time I get to that stage I can slow down and focus everything on my family. I would rather feel like crap right now and work myself extremely hard if that means in the future I can have a pleasant and enjoyable future with my family, instead of us being stressed about finances and other things. I want to be to the point where finances are not a significant impact on my family. You see, I’m telling you. Almost everything I do has an underlying meaning to my dream. I’m working hard now so I can set my family up for the best possible life in the future. I realize that the actions I take now affect my family in the future, and I’m trying my very hardest to make the best decisions I possibly can.
I know today’s post is a bit shorter, but I hope it was good nonetheless. Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all have a great day! Till next time. Peace and God Bless!!
~~~ INFJ Mickey
P.S. == I’m going to launch the poll later today so be sure to stay on the look out for that!