I’m back ya’ll. I know I’ve said that before, but I’m for real this time. I’ll be honest ya’ll I’m tired. Three months ago, I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life. Like literally, the only thing I was worried about was the fact I couldn’t get home soon enough to talk to my best friend. That’s all I was concerned about. Then two months ago started a train of events that flipped my world upside down. I’ll be honest it feels like anything that could go wrong has gone wrong. Now I’m fighting to make my life normal again. It is hard to do when things keep getting in my way. Every time something starts to go right, it seems like something goes wrong. Every time I make a small victory, I fall into another hole. And I’m tired of pulling myself out. I’m tired of people trying to fix me when there’s nothing that can be fixed. I’m tired of all my friends hurting because of me. I’m tired of my family always worried about me. I’m tired of everything. I want to go back in time to 3 months ago when I was just happy. I was happy from morning to night. So I’m sorry I’ve been gone. My life has been pure chaos. I’m drained and trying to recover.
So I’ve promised ya’ll some new content and great ideas I’ve had, so let’s hear them!! First off more pictures. I’ve been trying hard to get new photos of myself and the things I do every day. I’m just trying to keep ya’ll up to date on what my life is like. So I’m going to be working harder on posting more pictures on Instagram.
Secondly, I’m going to start working on my appearance. I’ll be honest; I really hate how I look. I always have. I’m too skinny, my smile is weird, my eyes are just brown, my hair can’t get right, etc. There are just so many things I don’t like about myself I want to change. You see, I struggle with the fact that I don’t think I’m attractive like at all. I try to tell myself it’s not true that I am attractive, at least in some areas, but my logical mind is always finding ways to discourage me and tell me otherwise, which leads me to the part where I struggle. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not. I don’t know if am I attractive or not. Am I just being paranoid and stupid, or are my fears and worries valid? This leads me to not knowing what I need to change. Because there are things about myself, I don’t like that I don’t know if they make me attractive or not like my glasses. I’ve seriously been thinking about getting contacts because I think they would make me look more desirable. But I don’t know if that is true, or I’m just being paranoid and thinking glasses make me less attractive. So I’m thinking about going over some of the things I’m conscious about and will be asking ya’ll what you think. Should I change it or not? Am I attractive or not? One thing I know I’m going to change is working out. I want to get fit again. Whether or not it made me more attractive or not idk, but it made me feel better about myself and more confident. So I’m planning on starting to workout again as soon as this pneumonia goes away because I don’t want to make it worse and have to reheal all over again. But I’d love it if ya’ll leave some suggestions in the comments of things you don’t think I should change, and things you think I should change about my appearance. Any comments are appreciated.
The last thing I’m able to share with you all at this time is a series I’m going to start. It’s called “The Quest.” I’m on a quest, a life’s goal. I have a dream I want to achieve, and I have many thoughts, plans, and dreams about it. Things I want to do, things I need to do, and things I’ve thought about doing. I have many thoughts about this “Quest,” that a lot of my family and friends don’t know about. This “Quest” I’m talking about is finding my future wife. My dream is to get married one day, and I have many, many, many thoughts and plans related to it. Not just getting married but also dating, engagement, relationships, etc. Some of my thoughts are a bit different than other people. Some a lot more different, and some are the same. Still, others are the same just way more passionate. These are all things I want to share with all of you. Let you all understand me better by knowing my dream. The things I want and desire. My thoughts, plans, and dreams. To see what my “Quest” looks like, and has looked like. So this series I’m planning on starting is going to cover several different things relating to my “Quest”. I’m really excited about it, and I can’t wait to hear ya’lls thoughts on it.
So those are most of my ideas I’ve had lately. I hope ya’ll are as excited about hearing them as I am about sharing them. It’s going to be an awesome journey!! And hopefully, it’ll lead to some more positive posts than the ones I’ve been posting lately. I hope you all have a blessed day! I’m going to get some rest. Leave a comment about what you’re most excited to see, so I know what to put more effort into!! I’ll ttyl!! Till next time. Peace and God Bless!!
~~~ INFJ Mickey