My coworker asked me a question today that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. As most of you know, I can’t date the girl I want to, and my coworker knows this and knows I’ve been struggling with it. So he asked me this question: “Mickey if you were able to date this girl right now, but she moved to California, would you still date her?” I didn’t even have to think about it, I said absolutely. Then he followed it with, “So you would have a long-distance relationship?” And without hesitation, I replied: “No, I’d probably move to California too.” This answer seemed to shock him because he said I was crazier than he thought.
But that question has been on my mind all day, and I’ll tell you why. Because for me, it was a no brainer answer. I’d follow the girl I’m in love with. For me, if I’m dating someone, and I can see even the slightest possibility of a future together, then I’m going to give the relationship my very best shot. Now when I say my very best shot, I mean that. My VERY best. My everything and my all. So moving to stay with the person I’m in love with is no brainer. The relationship was not ended, so instead of letting distance become an issue, I give it my best and follow her. For me, it wasn’t even a decision. It was just a thing I would do. But what my friend was seeing was the fact that I would be willing to give everything I’ve built up. All my friends I’ve made here. Leave all my family here. Leave my church, job, and school here and follow her. And I’ll admit when it’s put in that perspective, it does seem a bit insane. So then that made me wonder…am I insane?
I mean, think about it. I was willing to give everything up for the possibility that I might be able to have a future with the girl I love. Is that insane? Is it insane to give a relationship my VERY best? To do everything in my power to make it work? Am I crazy for doing this? Am I crazy for thinking this way? Am I crazy? Does anyone else think this way, or am I insane?
The way I think about it is if I’m not willing to give my very best during a relationship, then how am I going to act when I get married? Do I only give half my effort into the relationship until I get married then I give 100%? To me, that’s stupid. In my mind, I think you’re going to act like who you are. So if you only give 50% effort when you’re dating, when you get married what is going to make you want to change? I mean it was working before, so why put in the extra effort? I feel like when I’m in a relationship you should give it 120%. Don’t just give it your best; go beyond that. Do your very best to make it work. Because if you’re very best doesn’t work then it’s not meant to be. I mean, why not give the relationship 100% effort? That way, when you get married, no one has to try harder or adjust to change, because you both are already giving it your best. To me, marriage is just growing on an already strong relationship. You aren’t giving it half effort than when you get married that’s when you try harder.
And this is what I realized. This is why I believe my coworker was shocked. It’s not normal. To try so hard and be willing to sacrifice everything on a possibility. Why? Maybe because some people see it as a risk, stupid, or just insane. But why do they think like that? I believe it’s because it’s not normal for people to put all their effort into a relationship, or at least in the dating stage. Where nothing is set in stone. People see it as a risk or just testing the waters. But that’s not how I see it. I see it as an investment. And if I’m going to invest, I’m going to put everything on the table. The problem with this and the reason that my coworker was surprised is that I can give it my everything, but if the other person doesn’t do the same then there is a chance of losing everything. This brings up many questions in my mind. First off, does the possibility of losing everything change my mind? No, it doesn’t. Because even if the girl I’m giving my very best doesn’t reciprocate my effort and I lose everything at least, I can say it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault; it didn’t work out. I gave it my very best. I gave it my all. And if my all is not good enough for her…well, I can’t give more than that. I feel like relationships would be a lot more successful if people gave 100% into their relationships. Not only that, but they didn’t enter into a relationship that they weren’t willing to give 100% effort to. Think about that for a second. What kind of relationships are you having if you’re only giving it 50%? Like what’s the point? What are you hoping to achieve?
I give my very best to anyone I’m in love with. It may be insane, but I don’t care. I want someone to give me 100% and if I’m not willing to give it why should I ask for it? Am I insane? Am I crazy? Maybe. But in the end, it’ll be worth it.
Thanks so much for reading! Leave a comment if you agree with me or if you have a different view. I love hearing from ya’ll! And thank you, everyone, who leaves a like! It makes me smile every time I see someone like it! Till next time. Peace and God Bless!!!
~~~ INFJ Mickey