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INFJ Mickey

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Return To Sender

Knock on my door,
What in the world?
Open up to see a package on the floor.
Wondering if there’s more.
I know I didn’t buy anything from the store.

Picked it up and take it inside,
Ready for this ride?
The package was quite a sight,
It took all my might,
To lift it off the ground.
What’s in here that weighs so many pounds?

I set it on the desk,
Next to my mask.
That was a task.
Tisk, tisk, tisk.

Who did this packin’?
Who listening to this rappin’?
I was just looking at the wrapping.
I was close to snappin’
I thought something was lacking.

I sent this in the mail a year ago,
Yet here it arrives at my abode,
Are we changing the game mode?
No, but we got a box with a hole.
Wondering what’s my role?
This isn’t something I stole,
Nah, it’s a part of my soul.

Wonder what’s in the box?
I’m as sly as a fox,
Changing my socks,
Hope wrote on my rocks,
Door loud with knocks,
Room full of talks,
Roads with the walks,
But what’s in the stupid box?

Take a knife to the flap on top,
Open that package with a pop.
Get the mop,
Watch me jump and hop,
What I saw made my heart stop.

But first, before I tell you,
There’s something I need to,
Point out, don’t pout.

The label had no delivery address,
Instead, it was a mess,
All it said was return to sender,
That felt like a fender bender,
Don’t hinder the lender,

So what’s in that box of pain?
You know that one with the stain.
The one we dare not name?
It’s obviously not the same.
These words can you tame?
Nah, they’re too lame.
Absolutely no fame.

Fine I’ll tell you what it is,
It’s different shades of blacks and blues,
That ain’t the original color,
But who’d even bother?
Got the best mother,
Awesome brother,
Don’t forget the other.
They’re the reason I’m keeping my posture,

But they’re not the ones to send this to me,
You think you know, you think you see?
Pour a cup of tea,
Look at me, you don’t know a thing.
Got no ring,
My phone doesn’t ping,
Just me here trying to sing,
These words are coming off the wing,

Alright, I’m about to start,
That’s what is in the box: my heart.
Popped out like a pop tart,
It was returned like I’m a Walmart.
But it was never put in a cart.

But the ‘thing’ didn’t come alone,
A note sat next to my phone,
No one to hear my groan,
No one to silence my moan,
No one to judge my tone,
But Jesus did condone,
He healed my bone,
Told me to pay attention to the seed sown.

I’m confused and I got reasons,
My hearts came back in pieces,
Now I’m thinking ’bout trading them for Reese’s
At least they’d taste sweet,
Better than this rotten meat,
Smell nicer than stinky feet,
This wasn’t supposed to be neat,
Can you feel this heat?
How ’bout this beat?
No, then take a seat!

But at least I know why there was no sticker,
That said fragile, I can’t help but snicker.
You ain’t gotta be careful with something that’s broken.
Sorry, am I outspoken?
At least I’m not choking.
I got my t-shirt soaking.
My voice is cracking,
From these lyrics, I’m belting.
This work’s got me sweating,
I feel like I’m melting.
These words are pelting.
This game I’m playing,
With the cards, someone’s been dealing.
I’m healing,
But I still got a lot of feeling,
Listen to me singing.

Oh, you know what I forgot?
That note you sought.
The one that wasn’t bought,
Nah, it was given when it should not.
Rolling out of my cot,
It’s getting too hot,
‘Cause of the things I fought,
And the things I’ve forgot.
But imma remember the things I been taught.

This note isn’t long,
But somethings wrong.
All it says is this,
(It kinda sounds like a diss)

“Suck it up buttercup!
Enoughs enough.
Sure you’ve had it rough,
But you don’t know the meaning of tough.
You might have some pain,
But you’re not out there drowning in the rain,
You’re inside where there’s shade,
You’re life has already been paid,
You have everything made!
So don’t tell me you hurt,

I’ll rub your face in the dirt.
I rip off your shirt!
You think this is mad?
You don’t know the meaning of sad.
You don’t know how much you’ve had.
You have the best dad.
So hold your tongue,
You’re done having fun,
You think you got a cool pun?
I’ve got a ton.
You think I’m being to hard?
Just wait till you see what’s in my backyard.
Stop your complaining,
So what if you’re hurting.
I stop for no one,
No, I’m not the sun.
Don’t think I’m done.
I’ve just begun.
Go run,
Where you gonna go?
I’ll shoot you down with my bow.
My arrows tipped with truth,
I’ve got volunteers in my booth.

It’ll be like pulling a tooth.
Oh so now you’re sorry?
I’m in no hurry.
What are you trying to bury?
Get out of the hole,
Fix your soul.
Stop talking,
Start walking.
Pick up your face,
Keep up the race.
Hold you head up man,
Hold it as high as you can.
Suck it up buttercup,
Enough is enough.”

You got to be kidding me!
They can’t see what I see.
Who do they think they are?
Do they think I can’t hear?
I’ve got my own fear.
I’m my own peer.
I’m my worst judge,
I’ve been trimming myself like a hedge.

You think I wanted to share?
You don’t think I care?
Let me tell you I never intended,
To tell anyone I’ve cried.
I never meant to tell anyone,
How I’ve felt, absolutely none.
But friends pursued,
Family encouraged,
When I wanted to be alone.
Yeah I’ve been on my phone,
It’s been to save my pride,
To try and hide.
I wanted to deal with it myself,
To hide it on the shelf.
I never wanted to be here,
I’m in the car, who wanna steer?

Trust me,
I didn’t want anyone to see.
My tear-stained cheeks,
Or see the pain I’ve felt for weeks and weeks.
Why should I complain when others deal with worse?
This is starting to feel like a curse.
I’m not doing this for attention,
But I am trying for a restoration.
You think I’m stuck,
I’m not sitting in muck.
I’m healing,
Let me tell you what I’m feeling.
Sometimes I’m happy,
But sometimes I’m snappy.
I’ve been frustrated lately,
Because I’ve been trying to use my therapy.
But it’s hard to heal,
When no one understands how you’ve served the meal.
Like what’s the deal?
I broke the seal,
And told everyone how I feel.
It’s hard to use my therapy when it stings,
Not me, but my family, friends, and other things.
It seems like everything I do,
Brings a trouble or two.

I’m not trying to cause pain,
But it’s taking some work to get out this stain.
I tried talking,
It wasn’t working.
Now I’m venting.
It’s helping.
It’s not fixing,
But it’s releasing.
I’m getting tired of this,
So what if I miss?
At least I tried,
But I’ll be honest it’s better fried.

So one thing remains.
No I’m not talking about the stains.
Ignore the music blasting from the mains.
That’s just Nate singing about his pains.
The last thing that remains is names.

Who wrote the note?
Wanna cast your vote?
I’ll go get a tote.
Winner gets a root beer float.
Anyone got a toast?
Who can boast?
Who delivered that roast?
You gonna reread this post?
Nah, this is a little much for most.
Especially when I’m the host.
I’m about to just coast.
Go grab your coat,
And I’ll tell you who wrote the note.

The one who holds the knife,
Signed the note: “Life”

I go into my room and shut the door,
Crying out I just want more.
I throw the box away,
I can’t deal with it today.
Not about to try and fix my heart.
I wouldn’t know where to start.
I don’t care anyhow,
I just want the music now.

I might not be the best,
But I’m gonna stand out from the rest.
Maybe life is just giving me a test.
Seeing how I do out of my nest.

But I’m just going to turn the music on.
Listen to this song.
Put it on repeat.
Head bobbing to the beat.
Dancing on my feet.
Can’t sit in my seat.

Shut the voices out.
I’m not trying to pout.
I may get hit,
But I’ll turn around and make them sit.
I got a drill with a drill bit,
I’m climbing out of the pit.
Look I’m using my first aid kit.

The package said return to sender.
Well fine, but I ain’t a mender,
I still remember November.
I’ve been getting slender,
But with these lyrics, I’m an inventor,
Imma throw them into a blender,
Don’t expect me to be a defender,
I’m still tender,
Maybe an attender,
Not a bartender,
Definitely a pretender,
Always a contender,
I’m never gonna surrender!
So just return to sender.

~~~ INFJ Mickey

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